Korean Sojourn
November 15th, 2008
Sometimes I think Winter is a masochist,
enjoying watermarking black over true blue skies
stripping green foliage to pallid tans,
thick canopies of green now turned red carpets
crunching beneath boots and layers of coats.
I wonder if the leaves enjoyed the moment,
were they happy turning green, amber, red, brown?
or were they only happy in the everlasting seconds
floating from branch to bunch that I kick around?
I wonder if leaves ever had any regrets or
a deficit in timing.
How do you take it back: the moment, the year,
the fears that held you back,
the mountain you could of cross, but didn’t?
I think of past regrets and future roads watching the leaves fall
making sure the present is a soft note of the leave
instead of a blind cacophony of unhappy aspirations.
It’s so difficult to achieve that walk.
add to del.icio.usSorry, back to every Monday posting!
August 5th, 2008
Still traveling but writing more. Stay tuned and my apologies for the time lapse.
add to del.icio.usSingle Monologue
August 3rd, 2008
I hate this falling in love business. It feels like a hell of a lot of generated energy for something that may or may not happen in some take your time distant future so you can get to know each other when you’ll never really know a person. You have to thread lightly so that you do or do not confuse depending on the variation of the chase and while truth can not be changed it can be omitted upon level of interest and time in the relationship… or friendship… or whatever it was you decide to call it. Squinting from reading all the in between lines and the caveats of the in between ‘tweens, if and only if statements to help you make sense, predict or reprogram an action, is painful to me. The excitement of a kiss is really a negotiating chip for a possibility that you may or may not get me depending if you do or do not like me today and/or tomorrow as long as the strong attraction Pluto and the waxing moon on a partial Asiatic eclipse stopping at China doesn’t interfere. I’m tired of wondering why the phone doesn’t ring.
My scalp is itching and before anything begins, I erase the number. I’m seriously tempted to go back into the serene silent tranquility of single world if it weren’t for the fact that in the end we all settle. I hold my tongue when I see the lugubrious pour of loyalty and affection to a career, hobby or pet, when one deficiency doesn’t and can not compensate for the other. I wonder if settling just isn’t another way of just getting tired of all the mundane complexities when it’s difficult to stay in love as the years go by. When we look into each other and step into the tender spots that trigger doubt: am I good enough, do I matter, is there love. And I breath. Alone…like we all do.
add to del.icio.us Christmas is here…oh, wait
December 26th, 2007
Thousands of miles from home, family
and a Catholic service I can understand,
wanting to spend some time of fasting and reflection,
friends come into town just to spend the day with me
I overdo the turkey, eggnog, cranberry sauce, stuffing and beef
only to spend hours vacillating in euphoria and gastritis,
There’s this huge smile on my face
And tons of emails and calls:
where you been? how come you don’t write? when are you updating your blog?
So what has changed about my life?
I know that home is anywhere in the world,
friends love you at any distance,
and even though I have a tendency to overdo work
structure and downtime make a great balance.
Big kisses from my little hole in the wall:
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Thank you for letting me be my goofy self!