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I love traveling.
The fear of the unknown with the comfort of being alone. You have no one else but your self to depend on.
Some countries make me nervous. Today I’m at ease. The boat skims over the water, cutting through choppy ocean with like fresh cheese cake in covert late night indulgences. That’s how I know I’m meant to be here.
I use my book like a journal and even before I’m finished mix feelings arise. Do I want to say read me, know me, don’t forget me, I matter and sign it? Do I acknowledge that I am a small in the microcosm, not much different than the Russian behind me, the Korean beside me, the Japaneese im front me, and not sign it? Just…read me, let me get inside your skin. Are you looking out the window feeling lost or awe? Do you wonder about my thoughts like I do about yours?
I think about the man I gave the candle to hold and the one I dropped and burnt all existance of. Both the best lessons I,ve ever had. I regret not having the maturity to keep that great relationship just as much as loving someone more than my own skin. One taught me to keep on course and self reflect often while the other taught me mitigation of emotional investment. So, I look at this overcast sky ready to make it pour and wonder how well I can navigate a gray area. I let the tides rock me to sleep where ever that may be as the evening clouds over the Japaneese coast line smile at me. How odd that traveling makes me loose all the feelings of uncertainty, regret or fear. You are where you’re meant to be even if you don’t know where you’re going yet. I leave my email on my thoughts. Can’t wait to see the city lights.

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The river’s response to the death of Narcissus’ “I weep for Narcissus, but I never notice he was beautiful. I weep because each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.” –P. Coelho