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The following article was submitted to the wikiHow.com as how to use a squatting toilet. Hey, laughter is a good thing…my father would be so proud of me!

Ladies, you’re in the right restroom and that’s not the wall you’re looking at, it’s the floor. You look all around but every single one is like this. You really have a lot of “alma matter” to release, but you don’t want to look like you’ll need a special pass to go to the nurse’s office for a new change of clothes once you’re done. So how do you use a squatting toilet without any accidents?

You’ll Need:
* toilet paper
* hand sanitizer
* wipes
* meditation breath

Steps:
1. Make sure you have all your materials before walking into the stall. Go in, face the hood, and close the door.
2. Fold your knees slightly inward and forward. If you have a skirt, this is easy. If you have pantyhose, take one side off and hold it. If you have pants, roll up the bottom, and get close to the hood. Pants are best outside the hood but always make sure your body is inside the hood, midpoint.
3. The hood is there to protect you. It will catch any reverb action. Aim at a 45 degree angle to test the hood. Adjust angle as necessary. Remember not all hoods are made the same.
4. No matter how much protection a hood can provide please don’t approach it with projectile intentions. Take a deep breath and slowly, methodically release.
5. Clean, most of the flushing apparatus are on the floor so step flush, carefully adjust your clothes outside the stall and wash your hands.

But Claudia, sitting up is much easier for urination…what about #2?
Yes, the dreaded 2. If you are an outdoors type, you will already have a good sense when it’s good to strip down from the waist down, if not, do it anyways.

1. Make sure that you have all your materials. If you’re feeling gooey and sticky, pour some water inside the hole first. If you’re feeling projectile action, raise up your heels.
2. Get your balance on midpoint. Use three fingers to hold yourself against the door or balance on the side panels.
3. Do a test run if possible and adjust your body as needed.
4. Relax and enjoy the moment. If the smells are perturbing, hurry up.

Tips:
1. Many places don’t provide paper. Always carry your own or take lots of water.
2. Look around first. If the locals aren’t on point all the time, than you shouldn’t feel bad.
3. Do not attempt to answer your cell phone and mess up a perfect position.
4. Check your pockets before squatting. You really don’t want to fish your passport from the hole.
5. Many places don’t differentiate between girls and boys restrooms. Tell your traveling buddy to look out for you or ask one of the local old ladies to wait or help you.
6. Always look out for your safety.
7. Do NOT touch the floor with your hands.
8. Keep it all in perspective. It’s an adventure!

Sources:
Doug Lansky, editor of There is no Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled
Article by Frank Bures at World Hum.com
Wikipedia has great pros and cons with the squatter.

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