Screams into the Silence
May 10th, 2007
Getting involved in students’ lives has its rewards and consequences. I sit and watch the smiling girl on stage dancing giving the Lord a silent prayer of thanks.
Last week her mother cried nonstop in the hallway regardless of who watched or not. “No, you can not do anything about it now, do not worry, Ms. Z. I know it feels bad, but do not worry.”
“Pero por que yo? Por que mi nina? No es justo!” But why me, why my child, it is not fair. I wanted to choke in emotion. The little girl whimpered with her mom.
Second meeting. Seeing the mother feels like watching short silent foreign vignette. She edges up to me and wants me to talk; so I talk as I clean the room. The weather is hot…the money, well, getting another job, you know how that goes. I can’t help but to see the sadness in her eyes. It is hard being alone and I don’t understand it either, I confirm. Sometimes you do everything right and still you get what you don’t want. I know but perhaps it is because there is a greater happiness ahead. She bows her head and smiles. My art room makes her feel happy and I welcome her to stay as long as she wants. She exits silently after 15 minutes. I hope she comes back next week.
Some things really get under my skin. The logical side of me screams, why? Because it was easy? Because you felt power? Because she was alone under your care? Because you could? Because it was a child? WHY? God, help me, WHY? I give the Lord a second prayer of thanks for this moment.
This is my scream into the silence, nothing more can be done.
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May 11th, 2007 at 6:48 am
Sometimes things happen beyond our control and we feel helpless. I don’t let myself become emotionally invested in certain situations. I have learned to empathize rather than sympathize. Is that an unfeeling, loveless thing to do? No, as long as you use good judgment. However, easier said than done. Sometimes you just can’t help but to get upset. Great job, another expressive post!!!
May 12th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Thank for stopping by; and for the kind comment. This is a beautifully written piece; very heartfelt. Keep up the great work!
May 12th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Thank you Bobby and Gene for reading. Yes, she is only 8. The mom’s boyfriend did not have to “give” her those kinds of experiences. It has been reported to the law and he is no where to be found. It’s not right, but what is done is done.
May 12th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I’ll bet things like this make you feel really helpless at times. It would me. The only thing you can do is stand there and cry with them. I’ll be praying with you that God reveals where this guy is hiding so he can be captured and prosecuted for this.