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I can’t sleep. My feet are cold. I wonder if he knows.
I am not sinking but unloved feels like
the depth of my heart will never end
5 months work lost, undelivered, unchallenged, unwilling, unworthy, a disappointment
Worthless for human being/artist/mother
Yeah, I know they are just words, but they hurt so much
Why did I always surprise you at work?
I gave my family, talent, time, heart and emotion and it meant nothing
You hurt me where you know it hurt the most
I passed on that opportunity, wondering how you could do that to me,
When I would never do that to you or anyone else?
Wondering, why your pride keeps you happier than me
Asking God to make me weaker and more fearful and succumbing to you,
so maybe you’ll like me, so I can lightly trace your eye brows with my thumb again.
I feel like such a fool.
It is the human drama
But no one is at fault, right? Right.
I’m setting the words,
offloading an image,
vomiting an emotion,
unloading a burden
sending any baggage back
emailing the picture of us in pink dew roses,
Setting everything free,

so I can love a gain.
Not everything is what it seems
It’s still cold outside.