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Susie Main walked down the street,
Not a word to say, instead she growled,
A gruesome growl ready to strike her prey,
Every one knew Susie Main, the oddest girl in town,
She was mean to say the least,
And today she was the meanest,
Her footsteps pound the ground,
We all knew she meant, “Get out of my way!”
From the tall apartment buildings behind the walkway,
Our heads peaked out in fear,
This is the worst we have ever seen her,
The question shouted to our ears,
came directly from our fears,
W H A T I S S H E G O I N G T O D O?
The question lingered longer,
Our hearts shook more in fear,
We were SCARED, PETRIFIED!
And not just silly, sibling, baby whine - I’m scared,
We were SCARED right out of our pants!

She walked with rock fist raised to her chest.
If I didn’t know better I’d say she was a he,
Her arm muscle looked like a baseball behind the tee,
She wore a red shirt and black pants,
Had she killed a bull today? I wondered silentlee,
The short spaghetti brown hair had a boy’s cut,
Parted in the middle, neat and short at both ends,
Oh but the face! I pray never to see that face again,
Even a bulldog couldn’t look any meaner,
More wrinkles than a prune,
Her lips bunched like paper in the middle,
GROWL!
Her nose was wide and flat,
Her nostrils flared back and forth,
A mile away the leaves danced too, on this hot summer day,
W H A T I S S H E G O I N G T O D O?

One brave moment,
While we stood fearfully talking with our eyes,
The girl of my dreams, stepped in front of Susie Main,
Oh no, what is she doing?!
It’s as if she were pointing a loaded gun to her head,
Jane, don’t you know it’s loaded, Jane?
She didn’t move away, didn’t flinch,
Then, then I knew,
That the girl I so deeply loved, wasn’t very smart,
And I would never,
hear her say that she loves me too.

The neighborhood kids watched in silence,
I held my breath so hard my stomach cramped,
Then Jane said, still a statue but with trembling fear,
“Susie Main, you’re so mean and ugly!
Why are you in such a bad mood today?”
The Earth could have split in two,
the Sun could have dropped from above,
All were more kinder,
Than what Susie Main did to Jane Crane,
In an instance to a second Susie Main let out the biggest ROAR!
It was like the lowest loudest trombone combined with an elephant’s shout,
And then, her neck stretched like an Ostrich,
Susie’s mouth suddenly leaped and blocked the heavens over Jane,
In a blink of eye,
Jane Crane’s little toe,
Stuck from Susie Mains proud, long, blood red mouth,
It was a mouthful, for Susie Main,
But she could handle it, all of us knew she could,
We watched her in a terrified surprise,
As she chewed twice and then no more.

I didn’t waste any time to flee,
My life is too precious, and extremely dear,
Plus I’d rather not be where Jane soon will be,
I told my brain,
To tell my legs to go,
Go as fast as wind, don’t you stop!
And I ran,
So fast I could have outran thunder,
Breathing a lifetime, was my only request,
Down the sidewalk opposite of Susie,
Then turned the corner and stopped,
Stopped to let my legs rest and check if I was a fowl in the
supermarket,
No, I saw the others had ran home,
Then I heard and saw the rarest thing I’ve ever seen,
Susie Main spoke, as if she were speaking to me,
(or so it seemed)
“Don’t ask me when,
Don’t ask me where,
Don’t even ask me who and how,
I’m just in a bad mood and it just IS,
So leave me alone, don’t mess with me!
Or suffer the same as she,”
And Susie Main smiled and went away.

I read (actually the librarian read to us “The New Kid on the Block.” It’s a poem from the anthology “Where the Sidewalk Ends.” I thought it was so neat in the fourth grade so it became a myth in my head. This was last modified 5/28/1998

Piel dorada,
Alma de aire,
Sonrisa de sol.

Ave que se transforma en tus ojos indígenas,
que me siguen,
me hechizan,
y me enamoran sin saber.

Beso de flor dulce que alaba el picaflor,
salado con lágrimas rosadas tintadas de sangre,
animado con gritos y llantos de dolor.

Ojos café de almendra,
que no paran de verme,
y muero si me dejan,
que son mi adoración y belleza:
mi delirio,
frustración,
cansancio,
y enojo
que me abrazan de pies a cabeza,
me acarician con plumas de almohada blanca
sagrado tercio pelo en mi piel caliente y dorada.

(last modified 11/18/2000)

My love tears like a butter croissant preserved in clear washed glass and glowing yellow lights.

Starbucks and Magic Johnson laugh over a cup of decaf. One of 28 poses around the country says State Representative Jesse Jones.

Old skinny black man in his Sunday best suit of soft chalky stripes meanders over my way as he turns his caramel, clean-shaved, glowing face away from the sun to hit his pelt hat. I catch the green peaceful eyes that dance in air like the merthiolate my grandmother dripped on my open wounds. His son torso turns to beep lock the Mercedes behind him and trails his proud father: Picture of Dallas

I keep the days with significant events: the trip to Dallas-11/18, his birthday-11/16, charcoal eyebrows with entangled wavy eyelashes looking for a soul-searching experience 11/14, and so on, and so forth and so it goes on unemployment.

My tears flow like stale yellow almond biscotti that shamefully costs 2.99, shameful like the corroded River of Magdalena and puddles in the aguas estancadas del barrio de Santa Elena.

Mysterious guy, with diamond earrings and LL COOL-J swaggers, flirts with me, says to me, “Shhh! Here comes a customer now!” Scurry off to act.

Picture me this: Short Hispanic vato riding a Ford 150 extended cab with tattooed barbed wire in left arm carrying change, while Caucasian mother with two mixed, six foot tall daughters walk in like Greek Towers. I laugh as the girl behind the counter wonders why her mom is always tripping much like mine: Scenery of Dallas.

I stopped chattering my teeth and eating my nails, one month ago when I got laid off; my boyfriend barely realized those are signs of stress. Now, I chemically suppress panic attacks with strong coffee followed and foamy cappuccinos. I make and remake myself to make sense of it all and try to sing from it all:

Tailgate me like only a Dallas driver could and accept me like a
Wal-Mart return policy without the time restrains.
In this Dallas spot, I sit and sit pondering, on the murder of Kennedy,
On sheltered prejudicial stupidity,
And all echoes I hear in my heart with sincerity,
Is that Clara Smith song:
“When a woman looses a job, she just sits up at night and cries.”

(last modified 11/18/2001, merthiolate, a red dye placed on wounds to prevent infection)

Adivina todo sobre de mi

Que como, que tanto
Que talla, que largo
Que hondo, y dulces
Susurran mis besos
Sobre ti (Chorus)

Es que hombre no sabes
Las delicias que me atraes
Enloquecerte
Es mi poder

han habido tantas noches
de demonios y angelitos
que se alegraron por pensarte
aunque duermen sin tocarte

Eres mi lluvia
Mi adoración
Mi paz en silencio
Mi gusto y mi sabor
Me tienes y me quieres
Adivina a quien quiero yo

Inspired by the Dukee Brown band and “If Something is Wrong with My Baby”

The ocean storm rolls in
And the clouds fall thick and low
I can’t see the horizon
If the palm trees aren’t already bent,
the wind will knead them
Whatever else is left
Well, that,
that’s for the wind to reprieve

In the emotional weather report:
A melancholic hello that alarms me
His softness carries a blue hue
That doesn’t want cognac or a soul around
But the four walls to cover the river sounds
And I wonder if he’s making peace with death
behind closed doors cutting deals and compromises
or massaging pains that don’t want to bleed.
Some things,
are just too tender to touch.