claudiapena.com

I know your book started way before this chapter, when you told me how your dad denied you in front of his legal family when all you needed was money for books; When you were dragged by your hand through the hot Barraquillan market with your grandmother who died when I was two and you mourned her deeply.  When you decided dragging pails of water up a hill was not the way you wanted to live and left the city, the country, the continent, because somewhere deep inside you knew there was better, a better way of doing things, a better life for you and me, a better education, just BETTER and no one was going to dissuade you….

My book starts here,
How old were you then? 20? 21?
You never took NO for a final answer and your energy was endless
Talk about giving a little girl some lessons:
You painted my little nails fire engine red and gave me two pony tails with sparkly balls
You helped me get into my newly starched and bleached sexy overalls
with a strict warning of not to get the outfit dirty
You dragged all three feet of me by my hand
Through mazes of thousands of people
Sometimes against the current finding the pockets of air to fit into
Sometimes with the current, clutching your purse and my hand with authority
Only, to get to stone labyrinths of buildings and beurocratical lines
“I need to be where?”
I’d hear you ask in exasperation with beaded sweat
Then you take out a fresh coconut piece to lure me to the next location
Where I finally ate it, punched a whole in the water bag and fell asleep

Second chapter, he was millimeters from my lips when you turned the corner,
I was 15,
he was a 23 year old Costa Rican lean soccer player with his own car
And you Freaked!,
“Ma, I swear nothing happened,” in pure frustration,
You gave me a lecture about babies, cost of pregnancy and life
All the while thinking, “Mother, you just intercepted the first kiss, CH-ILL!”
The next day you took out a condom, unwrapped it and showed it to me
to my upmost disgust at the gooyness,
thinking: can’t modern science make it look prettier?
The third day I was grounded from every church activity until further notice
The fourth day you signed me up for every low cost activity you could fathom
By the time I was 17, I had been a camp councelor, a girl scout, a babysitter,
a dancer, a soccer, softball and volleyball player,
and participated in every history and science fair avialable
Plus, you found me a job at a law office to take up any time I had left
I think heard your sigh of relief when I told you I like reading contracts

Third chapter, phone calls complicate the issue, so your life is quiet
All your children have left the home and the bill collector finally stopped calling
Along with your lawyer, your exhusband and any other post divorce boyfriend
So you cut off your phone and leave the country,
once more to the land you left decades ago
Thought it was suppose to be better once you left, what happened?
I know your asking yourself the same thing, when 1 week later,
The tattoo that indicates the glory of your bossom is wrapped tight
The bulb of your back is perfect along with that size 34 waist,
And the thunder thighs that made my father’s jaw drop at 19 are back.

Time for a new begining,
that woman that made all those errors,
got erased,
“Don’t call me mother, at least not in public.
I don’t want anyone to know my real age or the name I use to be.”
So, I took back the boxes of pictures from your past of us
I try my best to stay neutral,
wondering if it’s a blessing that you didn’t burn them
or a loss of my presence beside you, bury me alive,
I am really trying to stay neutral.

But, what I’d really like to know, is, woman, where are you, NOW?
At this moment and this second, how does your heart beat?
What does your soul need?  How many thoughts run through your mind?
I know you’re alive, I know you’re walking, but are you well?
I am guessing you still like your coffee half and half in the morning,  but what song do you sing?
I know your favorite color is red and you like the tight jeans because, well, you know,
Please don’t tell me you found a combination of the two!
I know you feel cheated out of time, parents, and opportunities,
but, what are you doing to catch up now?

I’ve been adopted by my friend’s and my boyfriend’s mothers,
My school councelor, and my neighbors, but I was never in their womb,
I never knew them like I knew you,
but I know more of them than I know of you
You’ve been the strongest woman in my life and the most difficult to understand
So, what I’d really like to know is…
Mother, where are you now?

Love falls from you in waterfall abundance
Love falls from you like honey rain thunders
You make me feel awe and heaven’s wonder

Your love wraps me in Calico
And smells like rain
Falls like roses on desert thirst
Unsettles all meandering things

You kiss my tears
And smother my pains
You break all fears
And council my change
Your love makes me strong
Cemented in happiness
You fight in my ring
Always by my side

Priceless love
So beautiful, your love
More Beautiful than roses
You are so beautiful to me

Como te voy ha enamorar
Entre mil y una li­neas de poesia
Si todas estan en mi lengua mas nativa,
Con el Dios de los salvajes,
En la tribu que no conforma o acepta,
Y ese talisman de mi alma,
Sera solo una de las muchas moleculas atomicas de carbon
que se descomponen en tu suelo capal?
Te pensare mucho, aunque no me dejare estar a tu lado.

How much can I weep, if I know
You won’t understand the 1,001 lines
Of poetry streaming in my native tongue,
From a soul that doesn’t exist,
In a religion that cannot survive,
And a tribe that does not conform?
Though I will think of you often,
I’ll keep my soul from decomposing on your soil
And becoming one of many more carbon based molecules

My grandma doesn’t believe in shaving!
She doesn’t know anything about evolution.
She doesn’t care.  God is the big picture!

It should be that simple, it is to me.

God is the simple explanation for things like love
that can not be replicated in a controlled environment by man
God is the energy and space between us,
Like the beads in this rosary,
He keeps us linked, as we meditate
Toward a more perfect way of loving others
He makes the intersections of our lives today
Be a real purposeful experience
His knowledge pours to us through science
To see the most perfect design
in the nucleus of a cell
That replicates billions of times
in different ways
To make beings, societies, ecosystems!
This is true awe and reverence.

No,
We are not just the dust particles in this room
That have been aimlessly floating in space
for billions of years foregone and to come,
We are not the unfound half human ape link.

We are a reflection of God!
Because of His perfection
we cannot be anything other than beautiful!

We are creativity, music, art, and dance
Walking to beat of one drum in different rhythms like the many beautiful flowers,
We are sparkling photons of light, that illuminate one another.

–Thank you to J. Torcynski for her editing contributions on this piece

Check out this cool pre-curtain write up by Ms. Sindy Funk of La Semana.

ANHELOS DE CLAUDIA PENA. Secretos de corazon. Quien iba a imaginar que algunos poemas de Claudia Pena, de inspiracion, se convertiri­an en la obra teatral “Anhelos”, que presenta el Talento Bilingue de Houston.

Todos en la vida anhelamos algo. Por ejemplo: que se acabe la guerra, que se arregle la situacion de los inmigrantes, que haya paz en el mundo, que podamos vivir mejor. En el caso de la poeta colombiana Claudia Pena, sus “Anhelos” son que su novio se incorpore a su cultura y respete sus principios, ya que es ateo. Asi comienza la obra teatral, de Claudia, quien debuta como actriz con esta historia el proximo jueves 21 de septiembre, en el Talento Bilingue de Houston (333 S. Jensen Dr.), a partir de las 8 p.m. La escritora de poesi­as y tambien maestra de artes, le conta a SEMANA, en una entrevista telefonica, de que se trata este proyecto. “Desde que teni­a 15 anos he venido escribiendo relatos y poesi­as en espanol,” dijo Pena, quien no quiso revelar su edad. “En uno de esos di­as el director de la obra, Angeles Romero, los leyo y me comento que habi­a suficiente material para crear una historia y asi­ lo hicimos,” agrega Pena, quien llego a Houston cuando teni­a siete anos desde Cali (Colombia). Durante mas de un ano Pena y Romero estuvieron trabajando junta para llevar algo nuevo a las tablas. “Juntamos elementos de cine, danza y mis poesi­as para que interactuaran en esta obra,” menciona Pena. La escritora nos explica que ella estara sola en el escenario y sus pensamientos se ven reflejados en la pantalla grande. “Lo que trata de hacer, a traves de mis metaforas, fue usar la poesi­a y ponerla en un video,” explica Pena. “Hicimos filmaciones debajo del agua, en un cementerio, en el teatro. Hay una escena donde estoy tomando agua y mato a un raton. Hay de todo lo que se nos aparecia en el camino,” indica.

¿De que se trata? “Anhelos” se trata de una muchacha colombiana que busca el significado de la relacion que existe entre ella y su novio, quien es ateo y eso es un tema nuevo para ella,” describi Pena. “Los dos tenemos un viaje planeado a Colombia, donde la noche antes del viaje me pongo a pensar, como puedo incorporarlo en mi­ cultura y principios, y al mismo tiempo ser respetuosa con sus principios,” agrega Pena. La tambien bailarina comenta que esto es una situacion que le puede pasar a cualquiera y que puede convertirse en una batalla entre Dios y el significado de la existencia,” aclara. La obra es en espanol e ingles y tiene una duracion de una hora y 15 minutos, donde el publico tendra la oportunidad de interactuar con ella. “Vamos a tener un espacio donde el publico me puede hacer preguntas relacionadas con el tema,” concluye.

I’ve been watching how the undulating beauty of your soul
Makes white braids carved on plaster and blue aquatic inlays
My skin turns sawdust gold and sparkles in the sun
Everything matches—
From the kamakazi light bugs
Performing kama sutra acrobatic position
As they hit the unexpected water
To the acid stoned freaked fire flies
Wondering lost and confused
Over bleach shocked puddles
I soak in the sun mimicking lazy turtles
Observing star light and life
I see the unexpected beauty of you
Sometimes, I wish I could leave you my skin
Brown as dirt and burnt coffee
I left on your counter last week
My arm, when your heart needs covers and shivers
I’d leave you everything
Including the tears I’ll need